Where Are You in the Pride Cycle?
When we are at twelve o’clock on the pride cycle, we, like the Nephites of old, feel so successful, so intelligent, and so popular that we begin to feel invincible. We enjoy it when others compliment us on our successes, and we are irritated when others around us receive compliments on their successes.
At twelve o’clock we tend not to listen to the counsel of others....
Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles compared pride to “a personal Rameumptom, a holy stand that justifies envy, greed, and vanity.” Pride alienates us from God. It pushes us around the pride cycle to two o’clock, where we offend the Spirit of the Holy Ghost....
Interestingly, at two o’clock on the pride cycle, if we are honest with ourselves, we really are not that happy. We have this gnawing sense that we are slipping. We try to fight back against the uncomfortable currents of the pride cycle. We cling to the memories of past successes and insist on putting our trust in the arm of flesh. This is a serious mistake....
When we offend the Spirit, we cut ourselves off from the source of all spiritual nourishment, and it is just a matter of time until we begin to wilt. Without the help of the Lord and the influence of the Spirit, the gravitational pull of the pride cycle drags us down toward four o’clock failure....
At four o’clock on the pride cycle, we experience the painful consequences of our foolish pride. We may lose the job. We may lose the girlfriend or the boyfriend. We may lose the respect of those who matter most to us. Worse, we may lose respect for ourselves. And we come face-to-face with our own inadequacies....
Failures and afflictions are not happy thoughts for any of us, but ironically, we often find that they are great blessings because they tend to push us around the pride cycle toward six o’clock humility. We are no longer trying to impress those around us. We begin to see things more clearly and more honestly. We are more comfortable with criticism and can smile at our own mistakes and weaknesses. It is not, as one Christian author has observed, that we think less of ourselves but rather that we think of ourselves less.
At six o’clock on the pride cycle, we become truly humble and meek. Humility and meekness are foundational principles of the gospel....
“I say unto you that he cannot have faith and hope, save he shall be meek, and lowly of heart....
Another scriptural attribute often associated with six o’clock humility is submissiveness....
It has been said that meekness is not a recognition of our weakness but rather a recognition of the true source of our strength. There is nothing weak about meek. When we are humble and meek, we don’t elevate ourselves; we elevate God.
At six o’clock on the pride cycle, when we are truly humble and meek, we turn back to God because there is often nowhere else to turn. Our hearts are now broken and our spirits are contrite. A broken heart is one that has been trained through experience to be obedient and responsive to the commands of the Master. Only with a broken heart can we be truly useful and productive in the Lord’s service. The scriptures explain that having a broken heart is a peaceful and hopeful condition and ultimately a prerequisite to eternal glory (see 2 Nephi 2:7; Doctrine and Covenants 97:8)....
With His guidance, we continue around the pride cycle toward eight o’clock, when we invite the Spirit of the Holy Ghost into our lives once again.
We begin to keep God’s commandments, and He begins to pour down His blessings upon us—blessings that He has always desired to give us, for that is His nature, but that we refused to receive because of our foolish pride. We begin to receive blessings because we are now obeying the laws upon which they are predicated (see Doctrine and Covenants 130:20–21).
The Spirit’s influence changes our hearts....
Ten o’clock on the pride cycle is a pleasant and wonderful place to be, but unfortunately it is also a dangerous place to be. Our associates begin to compliment us for all our successes. Unfortunately, we begin to believe them.
If we are not careful, compliments can cloud our judgment and create in us an ungodly desire for more and more praise and credit. Like our ancient adversary (see Moses 4:1), we whisper to ourselves that we deserve the credit, for surely we have done it....
Slowly—and without fully realizing it—we once again approach the twelve o’clock pinnacle of pride, so busy looking around for praise that we fail to look ahead at the fall that awaits us, for “pride [always] goeth … before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18). And so the cycle continues....
I used to wonder how the Nephite nation could run the entire cycle in a period of as short as five years. I have since come to believe that we can run the cycle in five years, and we can run it in five minutes. It is a pernicious pattern of thinking and behavior that permeates our society. It is so common that it sometimes becomes hard to recognize.
Exiting the Pride Cycle
Are we consigned to continue forever in this endless loop of despair? Is there no way to get off the pride cycle? There is. In fact, there are two points on the pride cycle where we can exit—one to our eternal destruction and the other to our everlasting happiness.
At four o’clock, when we are facing failure or affliction and feel like all is lost, if instead of becoming humble, we become angry; if we lose hope or give in to self-pity; or if we begin to blame others—including God—for our misfortune, then we will exit the pride cycle. But we will exit downward to destruction, as did the Nephites of old.
But at ten o’clock, when it seems like we can do no wrong, when all is going well, if instead of becoming proud, we become thankful, then we will exit the pride cycle. But this time we will exit upward toward God. To exit the pride cycle at ten o’clock, we must recognize that every blessing we receive comes from Heavenly Father. He is the source of all that is good in our lives—the fount of every blessing....
A successful ten o’clock escape from the powerful pull of the pride cycle is not easy, but it is possible....
Each of us likely finds ourselves somewhere on the pride cycle. Where are you? If you are at four o’clock, if it feels like all is lost and you are a total failure, don’t despair. You are in a good place. Avoid blaming others for your failure. Humbly turn to God and recognize your dependency on Him....
But if you are at ten o’clock, basking in the false light of success, be careful. Avoid the tendency to turn inward and become prideful. “Count your many blessings; name them one by one.” Follow the scriptural counsel to remember all that the Lord has done for you (see Moroni 10:3). As the sacramental prayer reminds us, we covenant to remember Him not for an hour or two but always (see Doctrine and Covenants 20:77, 79). We should not take Him or His sacrifice for granted. We should not fail to be grateful to Him for every blessing.
All good things come from God. He is the source of every blessing we receive. Filling our hearts with gratitude for His merciful kindness will protect us against pride and make a way for our escape from the pride cycle.
From an address, “The Pride Cycle,” given at Brigham Young University on Nov. 7, 2017.
