Bridle Your Passions: Anger and Lust

 

Be True to God and His Work

By Elder Quentin L. Cook

Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

Bridle is an interesting word. When we ride a horse, we use the bridle to guide it. A good synonym might be to direct, control, or restrain. The Old Testament tells us we shouted for joy when we learned we would have physical bodies.¹³ The body is not evil—it is beautiful and essential—but some passions, if not used properly and appropriately bridled, can separate us from God and His work and adversely impact our testimony.

Let’s talk about two passions in particular—first, anger, and second, lust.¹⁴ It is interesting that both left unbridled or uncontrolled can cause great heartache, diminish the influence of the Spirit, and separate us from God and His work. The adversary takes every opportunity to fill our lives with images of violence and immorality....

President Nelson strongly emphasized this yesterday morning.¹⁷ Please make up your mind that regardless of whether your parents did or did not abuse you, you will not physically or verbally or emotionally abuse your spouse or children.

In our day one of the most significant challenges is contention and verbal abuse related to societal issues. In many cases anger and abusive language have replaced reason, discussion, and civility. Many have abandoned the admonition of the Savior’s senior Apostle, Peter, to seek Christlike qualities such as temperance, patience, godliness, brotherly kindness, and charity.¹⁸ They have also abandoned the Christlike quality of humility.

You Must Wait!

"In matters of human intimacy, you must wait! You must wait until you can give everything, and you cannot give everything until you are legally and lawfully married. To give illicitly that which is not your to give (remember, "you are not your own") and to give only part of that which cannot be followed with the gift of your whole self is emotional Russian roulette. If you persist in pursuing physical satisfaction without the sanction of heaven, you run the terrible risk of such spiritual, psychic damage that you may undermine both your longing for physical intimacy and your ability to give wholehearted devotion to a later, truer love. You may come to that truer moment of ordained love, of real union, only to discover to your horror that what you should have saved you have spent, and that only God's grace can recover the piecemeal dissipation of the virtue you so casually gave away. On your wedding day the very best gift you can give your eternal companion is your very best self - clean and pure and worthy of such purity in return."

Jeffrey R. Holland

King David's Fall

• OCTOBER 2018
• WHAT WE CAN LEARN FROM KING DAVID’S FALL

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What We Can Learn from King David’s Fall

By Frank F. Judd Jr.

Associate Professor of Ancient Scripture at Brigham Young University

The story of David and Bathsheba begins with the Israelite army fighting a battle against the Ammonites at Rabbath-Ammon, modern-day Amman, Jordan. But the account adds what turns out to be an ominous detail: it was the time of year “when kings go forth to battle … but David tarried still at Jerusalem” (2 Samuel 11:1). Kings were expected to lead their armies into battle, but David decided to stay home instead.

Elder Hartman Rector Jr. of the Seventy encouraged Church members to “be where you should be when you should be there.”3Whether it is attending Church meetings, helping with a service project, or magnifying callings, we should always fulfill our covenant responsibility to be in the right place, at the right time, doing the right things. Being “anxiously engaged in a good cause” (D&C 58:27) can safeguard us against many temptations, because, as President Gordon B. Hinckley (1910–2008) taught, “idleness leads to evil.”...

However, as President Dallin H. Oaks, First Counselor in the First Presidency, taught, David “allowed himself to look upon something he should not have viewed.”5 Another pivotal mistake was that when David found out Bathsheba was married, he did not let the issue go. The king knew Jehovah had commanded Israel to honor marital vows with complete fidelity (see Exodus 20:14, 17), yet “David sent messengers, and took her” (2 Samuel 11:4).....

Yet in the face of temptation, David gave in to lustful desire. Modern revelation again teaches us that “he that looketh upon a woman to lust after her shall deny the faith, and shall not have the Spirit” (Doctrine and Covenants 42:23). The loss of the companionship of the Spirit certainly hindered David’s ability to choose wisely.

Elder Bruce C. Hafen of the Seventy observed that David “somehow developed too much confidence in his own ability to handle temptation. He was tragically willing to flirt with evil, and it ultimately destroyed him.”....

As President Spencer W. Kimball (1895–1985) counseled: “The time to protect against the calamity is when the thought begins to shape itself. Destroy the seed and the plant will never grow.”...

The loss of the companionship of the Spirit as well as of his priesthood authority continued to erode the king’s capacity to make righteous decisions. It was while in this diminished spiritual state that David arranged for the murder of Uriah....

David’s downfall was not determined by one fatal mistake but rather a series of increasingly unwise and selfish decisions. It is important to remember that at any time during this devastating progression, David could have chosen to humble himself and seek repentance. Tragically, however, David admitted his guilt only after he was confronted by the prophet Nathan (see 2 Samuel 12:13).....

One of the central lessons for us from the story of David and Bathsheba is the importance of the Holy Ghost and its role in helping us make good choices. Nephi taught that if you “receive the Holy Ghost, it will show unto you all things what ye should do” (2 Nephi 32:5), thus helping us to be in the right place at the right time to avoid temptation. By extension, the Holy Ghost can also show us what we should not do, giving us courage to flee temptation when we are confronted by it.....

 In our own lives, it is critical that we live worthy of the companionship of the Spirit so that this precious gift may help us navigate the difficult roads of life.

Marriage and Chastity

“[Recently,] the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve published a letter to leaders of the Church across the world. In part it read: ‘Changes in the civil law do not, indeed cannot, change the moral law that God has established. God expects us to uphold and keep His commandments regardless of divergent opinions or trends in society. His law of chastity is clear: sexual relations are proper only between a man and a woman who are legally and lawfully wedded as husband and wife.’ …

“As the world slips away from the Lord’s law of chastity, we do not. …

“While many governments and well-meaning individuals have redefined marriage, the Lord has not. In the very beginning, God initiated marriage between a man and a woman—Adam and Eve. He designated the purposes of marriage to go far beyond the personal satisfaction and fulfillment of adults to, more importantly, advancing the ideal setting for children to be born, reared, and nurtured. Families are the treasure of heaven.”

Elder Neil L. Andersen of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, “Spiritual Whirlwinds,” Ensign, May 2014, 19.

When Thoughts Turn to Lust

 “It has been said, “You can watch the birds fly by; just don’t let them build a nest on your head.” There is nothing wrong with noticing the pretty young lady or handsome young man as they walk by—that is normal. But if those thoughts turn to lust, then the nest is being built.”

Elder Tad R. Callister, “The Lord’s Standard of Morality,” Ensign, Mar 2014, 48. 

Teaching Chastity and Virtue

-Teaching and learning should begin early.

“Many children become exposed to sexual content on the Internet as young as 11 years old and some even younger. Entertainment venues, sporting events, advertising, and even social media are increasingly saturated with sexual images and innuendo.

“Some parents rightly ask, “When should I begin talking about sexually related issues?” It depends on the age and maturity of the child and the specific situation. Spiritual guidance will come as parents prayerfully and carefully observe their children’s behavior, intentionally listen to their children, and take time to consider and discern when and what to teach.”

-Teaching and learning should occur often

“Learning is a process rather than a single event. When it comes to teaching children about sexual intimacy or other related matters, people often refer to it as “the talk.” Whether intended or not, this term implies that parents teach this topic in a single conversation. That is not the most effective way for a child to learn.”

-Effective learning and teaching hinges on the relationship between the teacher and learner.

“When it comes to teaching children about sexually related topics, most parents worry almost exclusively about what they should say. While this is important, effective teaching and learning goes well beyond talking and telling about content. In fact, the way parent approach teaching their children may be more important than what they might actually say. Research supports the conclusion that parents who influence their children most when dealing with sexual issues are those who communicate openly, express love and concern, and are actively engaged in the lives of their children.”

-Teaching and learning are most effective when the subject is relevant and real.

“Depending on our approach, teaching about sexual intimacy can feel awkward, unrealistic, impractical, or even preachy. A key to success is to realize that most questions and concerns children have are reactions to real-life situation and observations. As we pay attention to, listen to, and observe our children, we will discern what we need to teach.”

-Learners learn best when they understand what teachers are teaching.

“Rather than speaking in code or even slang, we will have more success if we use correct and appropriate terms. This promotes understanding and cultivates respect.”

-Learners are converted when teachers connect the message with everlasting principles are standards.

“Rather than focusing only on the relevant “facts of life,” effective gospel instruction occurs when we connect those facts with the “facts of eternal life.”

Matthew O. Richardson, Second Counselor in the Sunday School General Presidency, “Teaching Chastity and Virtue,” Ensign, Oct 2012, 20-23.