How Often are We Judging Others?

 

His Yoke Is Easy and His Burden Is Light

By Sister J. Anette Dennis

First Counselor in the Relief Society General Presidency

The story is told of a man named Jack who had a beloved bird-hunting dog named Cassie. Jack was so proud of Cassie and often bragged about what a skilled dog she was. To prove this, Jack invited some friends to watch Cassie perform. After arriving at the hunting club, Jack let Cassie out to run around while he went inside to check in.

When it was time to begin, Jack was anxious to show off Cassie’s amazing skills. However, Cassie was acting strangely. She wouldn’t obey any of Jack’s commands as she usually did so willingly. All she wanted to do was remain by his side.

Jack was frustrated and embarrassed and angry with Cassie; soon he suggested they leave. Cassie wouldn’t even jump into the back of the truck, so Jack impatiently picked her up and shoved her in the kennel. He fumed as those with him made fun of his dog’s behavior all the way home. Jack couldn’t understand why Cassie was misbehaving. She had been trained well, and her whole desire in the past had been to please and serve him.

After arriving home, Jack began examining Cassie for injuries, burrs, or ticks, as he usually did. As he put his hand on her chest, he felt something wet and found his hand covered with blood. To his shame and horror, he found that Cassie had a long, wide gash right to her chest bone. He found another on her right front leg, also to the bone.

Jack took Cassie into his arms and began to cry. His shame at how he had misjudged and treated her was overwhelming. Cassie had been acting uncharacteristically earlier in the day because she was hurt. Her behavior had been influenced by her pain, her suffering, and her wounds. It had nothing to do with a lack of desire to obey Jack or a lack of love for him.¹

I heard this story years ago and have never forgotten it. How many wounded individuals do we have among us? How often do we judge others based on their outward appearance and actions, or lack of action, when, if we fully understood, we would instead react with compassion and a desire to help instead of adding to their burdens with our judgment?...

We are commanded to love others,⁶ not to judge them.⁷ Let’s lay down that heavy burden; it isn’t ours to carry.⁸ Instead, we can pick up the Savior’s yoke of love and compassion....

Elder Gary E. Stevenson said: “When we confront life’s wind and rainstorms, sickness and injuries, the Lord—our Shepherd, our Caregiver—will nourish us with love and kindness. He will heal our hearts and restore our souls.”¹¹ As followers of Jesus Christ, shouldn’t we do likewise?

The Savior asks us to learn of Him¹² and do the things we have seen Him do.¹³ He is the embodiment of charity, of pure love. As we incrementally learn to do what He asks of us—not out of duty or even for the blessings we might receive but purely out of love for Him and our Heavenly Father¹⁴—His love will flow through us and make all that He asks not only possible but eventually much easier and lighter¹⁵ and more joyful than we could ever imagine. It will take practice; it could take years, as it has for me, but as we even desire to have love be our motivating force, He can take that desire,¹⁶ that seed, and eventually turn it into a beautiful tree, full of the sweetest fruit.¹⁷

We sing in one of our beloved hymns: “Who am I to judge another when I walk imperfectly? In the quiet heart is hidden sorrow that the eye can’t see.”¹⁸ Who among us might have hidden sorrows? The seemingly rebellious child or teenager, the children of divorce, the single mother or father, those with physical or mental health challenges, those questioning their faith, those who experience racial or cultural prejudice, those feeling alone, those longing to be married, those with unwanted addictions, and so many others dealing with a wide variety of challenging life experiences—often even those whose lives appear perfect on the surface.

None of us have perfect lives or perfect families; I certainly don’t. When we seek to empathize with others who also experience challenges and imperfections, it can help them feel that they are not alone in their struggles. Everyone needs to feel that they really do belong and are needed in the body of Christ.¹⁹ Satan’s great desire is to divide God’s children, and he has been very successful, but there is such power in unity.²⁰ And how we need to walk arm in arm with each other on this challenging journey of mortality!...

Friends, let us remember that each person on this earth is a child of God²³ and He loves each one.²⁴ Are there people in your path who you have felt inclined to judge? If so, remember that these are valuable opportunities for us to practice loving as the Savior loves.²⁵ As we follow His example, we can be yoked with Him and help foster a feeling of love and belonging in the hearts of all our Father’s children.

Belonging

 

The Doctrine of Belonging

By Elder D. Todd Christofferson

Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

A sense of belonging is important to our physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. Yet it is quite possible that at times each of us might feel that we don’t fit in. In discouraging moments, we may feel that we will never measure up to the Lord’s high standards or the expectations of others.⁶ We may unwittingly impose expectations on others—or even ourselves—that are not the Lord’s expectations. We may communicate in subtle ways that the worth of a soul is based on certain achievements or callings, but these are not the measure of our standing in the Lord’s eyes. “The Lord looketh on the heart.”⁷ He cares about our desires and longings and what we are becoming....

Let us leave judgment in the Lord’s hands and those He has commissioned and be content to love and treat each other the best we can....

A second facet of the doctrine of belonging has to do with our own contributions. Although we rarely think about it, much of our belonging comes from our service and the sacrifices we make for others and for the Lord. Excessive focus on our personal needs or our own comfort can frustrate that sense of belonging....

Belonging comes not as we wait for it but as we reach out to help one another....

“… University of Notre Dame sociologist of religion Christian Smith found in his study of adults [ages] 18 to 23 that most of them believe society is nothing more than ‘a collection of autonomous individuals out to enjoy life.’”¹³

By this philosophy, anything that one finds difficult “is a form of oppression.”¹⁴

By contrast, our pioneer forebears derived a deep sense of belonging, unity, and hope in Christ by the sacrifices they made to serve missions, build temples, abandon comfortable homes under duress and begin again, and in a multitude of other ways consecrate themselves and their means to the cause of Zion. They were willing to sacrifice even their lives if necessary. And we are all the beneficiaries of their endurance. The same is true for many today who may lose family and friends, forfeit employment opportunities, or otherwise suffer discrimination or intolerance as a consequence of being baptized. Their reward, however, is a powerful sense of belonging among the covenant people. Any sacrifice we make in the Lord’s cause helps to confirm our place with Him who gave His life a ransom for many.

That Day of Judgement

 

Joseph Smith Translation

How Do We “Judge Righteous Judgment”?

By Tyler J. Griffin

Associate Professor of Ancient Scripture, Brigham Young University

In the Joseph Smith Translation of Matthew 7, we read, “Judge not unrighteously, that ye be not judged; but judge righteous judgment” (Joseph Smith Translation, Matthew 7:2 [in Matthew 7:1, footnote a]). Joseph Smith made some of his changes to the biblical text not to reflect what was originally said or written but to give prophetic interpretation and help clarify the meaning of certain passages. That seems to be the case with the changes here, based on what other scriptures (3 Nephi 14:1, for example) and modern prophets have said about judging. According to Joseph Smith’s addition to this passage in Matthew, Jesus is not telling us never to judge. He is commanding us to make sure the judgments we make are righteous.

Freely Given Atoning Love

As we understand our Savior’s freely given atoning love, we cease fearing that He may be a harsh, faultfinding judge.

Elder Gerrit W. Gong, “Becoming Perfect in Christ,” Ensign, Jul 2014, 17.

Having More

As author C. S. Lewis wrote, “Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man.”

 … It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest. Once the element of competition has gone, pride has gone” (Mere Christianity [1952], 109–10). …

The proud stand more in fear of men’s judgment than of God’s judgment (see D&C 3:6–7; 30:1–2; 60:2). “What will men think of me?” weighs heavier than “What will God think of me?” …

Martha and Mary

Although Martha demonstrated marvelous devotion and faith in the Savior in another setting (see John 11:19–29), here she complained, “Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me” (Luke 10:40). To help Church members learn an important lesson from this episode, Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles once cited a Brigham Young University devotional address by Professor Catherine Corman Parry:

“The Lord did not go into the kitchen and tell Martha to stop cooking and come listen. Apparently he was content to let her serve him however she cared to, until she judged another person’s service. … Martha’s self-importance … occasioned the Lord’s rebuke, not her busyness with the meal."

In Dallin H. Oaks, “‘Judge Not’ and Judging,” Ensign, Aug. 1999, 12–13; emphasis added.

Giving Each Other the Benefit of the Doubt

Giving Each Other the Benefit of the Doubt

“Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don’t judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting someone’s differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn’t handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another’s weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other.”

Elder Marvin J. Ashton (1915–94) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, “The Tongue Can Be a Sharp Sword,”Ensign, May 1992, 19.

Loving Vs. Judging

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them."

-Mother Theresa

"I ask: can we love one another, as the Savior commanded, if we judge each other?"

President Thomas S. Monson, "Charity Never Faileth," Ensign, Nov. 2010 124.

Good and Bad

Look hard enough, and you can discover both good and bad in almost anyone and anything.

Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "Looking for the Good," Ensign, Mar 2011, 4. 

The Prince's Dog

“There is an old Welsh story from the 13th century about a prince who returned home to find his dog with blood dripping down its face. The man rushed inside and, to his horror, saw that his baby boy was missing and his cradle overturned. In anger the prince pulled out his sword and killed his dog. Shortly thereafter, he heard the cry of his son—the babe was alive! By the infant’s side lay a dead wolf. The dog had, in reality, defended the prince’s baby from a murderous wolf.

“Though this story is dramatic, it demonstrates a point. It opens the possibility that they story we tell ourselves about why others behave a certain way does not always agree with the facts—sometimes we don’t even want to know the facts. We would rather feel self-justified in our anger by holding onto our bitterness and resentment. Sometimes these grudges can last months or years. Sometimes they can last a lifetime.”

Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “One Key To A Happy Family,” Ensign, Oct 2012, 5. 

Condemning Others' Actions

 “There are many degrees of offense. There are many degrees of hurt. But what I have noticed is that often we justify our anger and satisfy our consciences by telling ourselves stories about the motives of others that condemn their actions as unforgivable and egoistic while, at the same time, lifting our own motives as pure and innocent.”

Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “One Key to A Happy Family,” Ensign, Oct 2012, 5. 

What We Become, Not What We Have Done

“The Final Judgment is not just an evaluation of a sum total of good and evil acts—what we have done,” taught Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, “It is an acknowledgment of the final effect of our acts and thoughts—what we have become. It is not enough for anyone just to go through the motions. The commandments, ordinances, and covenants of the gospel are not a list of deposits required to be made in some heavenly account. The gospel of Jesus Christ is a plan that shows us how to become what our Heavenly Father desires us to become.”

Dallin H. Oaks, “The Challenge to Become,” Ensign, Nov. 2000, 32.