How Often are We Judging Others?

 

His Yoke Is Easy and His Burden Is Light

By Sister J. Anette Dennis

First Counselor in the Relief Society General Presidency

The story is told of a man named Jack who had a beloved bird-hunting dog named Cassie. Jack was so proud of Cassie and often bragged about what a skilled dog she was. To prove this, Jack invited some friends to watch Cassie perform. After arriving at the hunting club, Jack let Cassie out to run around while he went inside to check in.

When it was time to begin, Jack was anxious to show off Cassie’s amazing skills. However, Cassie was acting strangely. She wouldn’t obey any of Jack’s commands as she usually did so willingly. All she wanted to do was remain by his side.

Jack was frustrated and embarrassed and angry with Cassie; soon he suggested they leave. Cassie wouldn’t even jump into the back of the truck, so Jack impatiently picked her up and shoved her in the kennel. He fumed as those with him made fun of his dog’s behavior all the way home. Jack couldn’t understand why Cassie was misbehaving. She had been trained well, and her whole desire in the past had been to please and serve him.

After arriving home, Jack began examining Cassie for injuries, burrs, or ticks, as he usually did. As he put his hand on her chest, he felt something wet and found his hand covered with blood. To his shame and horror, he found that Cassie had a long, wide gash right to her chest bone. He found another on her right front leg, also to the bone.

Jack took Cassie into his arms and began to cry. His shame at how he had misjudged and treated her was overwhelming. Cassie had been acting uncharacteristically earlier in the day because she was hurt. Her behavior had been influenced by her pain, her suffering, and her wounds. It had nothing to do with a lack of desire to obey Jack or a lack of love for him.¹

I heard this story years ago and have never forgotten it. How many wounded individuals do we have among us? How often do we judge others based on their outward appearance and actions, or lack of action, when, if we fully understood, we would instead react with compassion and a desire to help instead of adding to their burdens with our judgment?...

We are commanded to love others,⁶ not to judge them.⁷ Let’s lay down that heavy burden; it isn’t ours to carry.⁸ Instead, we can pick up the Savior’s yoke of love and compassion....

Elder Gary E. Stevenson said: “When we confront life’s wind and rainstorms, sickness and injuries, the Lord—our Shepherd, our Caregiver—will nourish us with love and kindness. He will heal our hearts and restore our souls.”¹¹ As followers of Jesus Christ, shouldn’t we do likewise?

The Savior asks us to learn of Him¹² and do the things we have seen Him do.¹³ He is the embodiment of charity, of pure love. As we incrementally learn to do what He asks of us—not out of duty or even for the blessings we might receive but purely out of love for Him and our Heavenly Father¹⁴—His love will flow through us and make all that He asks not only possible but eventually much easier and lighter¹⁵ and more joyful than we could ever imagine. It will take practice; it could take years, as it has for me, but as we even desire to have love be our motivating force, He can take that desire,¹⁶ that seed, and eventually turn it into a beautiful tree, full of the sweetest fruit.¹⁷

We sing in one of our beloved hymns: “Who am I to judge another when I walk imperfectly? In the quiet heart is hidden sorrow that the eye can’t see.”¹⁸ Who among us might have hidden sorrows? The seemingly rebellious child or teenager, the children of divorce, the single mother or father, those with physical or mental health challenges, those questioning their faith, those who experience racial or cultural prejudice, those feeling alone, those longing to be married, those with unwanted addictions, and so many others dealing with a wide variety of challenging life experiences—often even those whose lives appear perfect on the surface.

None of us have perfect lives or perfect families; I certainly don’t. When we seek to empathize with others who also experience challenges and imperfections, it can help them feel that they are not alone in their struggles. Everyone needs to feel that they really do belong and are needed in the body of Christ.¹⁹ Satan’s great desire is to divide God’s children, and he has been very successful, but there is such power in unity.²⁰ And how we need to walk arm in arm with each other on this challenging journey of mortality!...

Friends, let us remember that each person on this earth is a child of God²³ and He loves each one.²⁴ Are there people in your path who you have felt inclined to judge? If so, remember that these are valuable opportunities for us to practice loving as the Savior loves.²⁵ As we follow His example, we can be yoked with Him and help foster a feeling of love and belonging in the hearts of all our Father’s children.

Let Others Serve Us

 

Relief through Alignment with the Lord

By President Camille N. Johnson

Relief Society General President

Alignment of our heart and mind with the Savior isn’t a free pass to a life of ease. Instead, it is a conduit to His relief...

To be aligned with the Savior, we need to give ourselves over to Him. We must avoid clinging tenaciously to our burdens and trying to carry them alone. Rather, we must make our burdens accessible to the Savior and allow Him to provide His relief...

Letting Others Serve Us

The Savior asks you to serve because in doing so, you align your heart and mind with Him. That alignment brings His relief and the ability to carry your mortal load. Jesus Christ not only asks you to serve but also asks you to be served—to graciously receive the ministering sisters and brothers, friends, and even strangers who are doing their part. Would you deprive them of the blessings associated with their covenant keeping?

I am, admittedly, not very good at this. The “I’ve got this” mentality overtakes me sometimes.

Shortly before general conference last year, when they knew I was extra busy, the sister and brother who minister to our family offered to bring some soup. They sent a kind text to my husband and me. True to form, I quickly responded to say we were good and no soup was needed. My gracious husband, on the other hand, responded with a message that soup would be great, inviting them to minister to us in that way. I should have done better.

In anticipation of Doug’s surgery in St. Louis, I asked for the name of a stake Relief Society president I could call there, just in case I had some extraordinary need for help. That was way out of my comfort zone, but I asked and received the number for Sister Diana Taylor, who is a stake Relief Society president in the area.

I called Sister Taylor and explained why we were coming to St. Louis and assured her I would let her know if and how I needed her help.

The next day, she sent me this text: “Sister Johnson, 10 hours is a long time to be waiting alone while Brother Johnson is in surgery. I would be happy to come to the hospital to be with you if that would help. I could come the whole time or part of the time. We could share the Spirit of Christ as we pray and remember the blessings of a loving Father in Heaven, the blessings of sisterhood, the blessing of families and of service.”

Perhaps you’ve guessed my first reaction: “I’m good. I’ve got this alone. I’ll wallow in my sadness by myself!” And I was just about ready to send a response that declined her invitation—until I remembered what I had preached in the April 2023 general conference and thought that I ought to practice it:

“How does the Savior relieve us of the burdens of living in a fallen world with mortal bodies subject to grief and pain?

“Often, He performs that kind of relief through us! …

“… We are a conduit through which He provides relief.”¹

I responded with this text message: “I don’t want to trouble you at all. Perhaps you and I could have lunch together. That would be a nice break from the talks that I am writing.”

The Lord sent Sister Taylor (right) to minister to me while I was waiting for my husband to come out of surgery.

Sister Taylor and I walked to a restaurant. We sat outside because it was a sunny day and enjoyed lunch together. And in the end, I trust that both of us found needed relief.

I was alone in St. Louis. Doug was in a surgery lasting more than 10 hours. How was the Savior going to help me, to relieve me of loneliness and frustration and worry? He sent someone to minister to me, someone who was magnifying her calling and keeping her baptismal covenant by comforting someone who stood in need of comfort (see Mosiah 18:9–10). If I had failed to receive her, I would have failed to receive Him...

Whenever we do anything to bring relief to others—temporal or spiritual—we are bringing them to Jesus Christ and will be blessed to find our own relief in Him. In doing so, we align our hearts and minds and goals with God’s.

Christ is Our Relief

 

Jesus Christ Is Relief

By President Camille N. Johnson

Relief Society General President

I joyfully declare that our mortal burdens, these rocks in our figurative backpack, need not feel heavy.

Jesus Christ can lighten our load.

Jesus Christ can lift our burdens.

Jesus Christ provides a way for us to be relieved of the weight of sin.

Jesus Christ is our relief....

That the yoke is easy and the burden is light presumes we get in the yoke with the Savior, that we share our burdens with Him, that we let Him lift our load. That means entering into a covenant relationship with God and keeping that covenant, which, as President Nelson has explained, “makes everything about life easier.” He said, “Yoking yourself with the Savior means you have access to His strength and redeeming power.”...

So why do we insist on carrying our rocks alone?

It is intended as a personal question for each of you to consider.

For me, it is the age-old vice of pride. “I’ve got this,” I say. “No worries; I’ll get it done.” It’s the great deceiver who wants me to hide from God, to turn away from Him, to go at it alone.

Brothers and sisters, I can’t go at it alone, and I don’t need to, and I won’t. Choosing to be bound to my Savior, Jesus Christ, through the covenants I have made with God, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”¹¹

Covenant keepers are blessed with the Savior’s relief....

The Atonement of Jesus Christ also makes it possible for us to receive strength to forgive, which allows us to unload the weight we carry because of mistreatment by others.

Submit Cheerfully

When you face burdens in life, the key to access the Savior’s enabling power is to submit cheerfully and with patience to the will of the Lord. Allow the enabling power of the Savior to make your burdens light.

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Can We Live “after the Manner of Happiness”?

By Elder Brent H. Nielson

Of the Seventy

From a devotional address, “The Truth Shall Make You Free,” given at Brigham Young University–Idaho on November 10, 2014. For the full address, visit web.byui.edu/devotionalsandspeeches.

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Nothing Beyond His Healing Touch

Nothing beyond His Healing Touch

“No grief is so great, no pain so profound, no burden so unbearable that it is beyond His healing touch.”

Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, “Special Witnesses of Christ,” Ensign, Apr. 2001, 9.

The Savior Can Heal and Strengthen

"Because o His infinite and eternal sacrifice (see Alma 34:14), [the Savior] has perfect empathy and can extend to us His arm of mercy. He can reach out, touch, succor, heal, and strengthen us to be more than we could ever be and help us to do that which we could never do relying only upon our own power. . . .
"The unique burdens in each of our lives help us to rely upon the merits, mercy, and grace of the Holy Messiah (see 2 Nephi 2:8). I testify and promise the Savior will help us to bear up our burdens with ease (see Mosiah 24:15)."

David A. Bednar, "Bear Up Their Burdens with Ease," Ensign, May 2014, 90.

God's Light

“There may be some among you who feel darkness encroaching upon you. You may feel burdened by worry, fear, or doubt. To you and to all of us, I repeat a wonderful and certain truth: God’s light is real. It is available to all! It gives life to all things. [See D&C 88:11-13.] It has the power to soften the sting of the deepest wound. It can be a healing balm for the loneliness and sickness of our souls. In the furrows of despair, it can plant the seeds of a brighter hope. . . . It can illuminate the path before us and lead us through the darkest night into the promise of a new dawn.

“This is ‘the Spirit of Jesus Christ,’ which gives ‘light to every man that cometh into the world.’ [D&C 84:45-46.]”

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “The Hope of God’s Light,” Ensign, May 2013, 75. 

Disappointment of Shattered Dreams

 “At times there appears to be no light at the tunnel’s end—no dawn to break the night’s darkness. We feel surrounded by the pain of broken hearts, the disappointment of shattered dreams, and the despair of vanished hopes. . . . If you find yourself in such a situation, I plead with you to turn to our Heavenly Father in Faith. He will lift you and guide you. He will not always take your afflictions from you, but He will comfort and lead you with love through whatever storm you face.”

Thomas S. Monson, “Looking Back and Moving Forward,” Ensign, May 2008, 90. 

Look Up

 “When your difficulties seem overwhelming, look up, not down. When sadness and despair start to get a foothold, remember this: the Atonement of Jesus Christ did more than overcome physical and spiritual death. Yes, we will all be resurrected, and all of us have the opportunity to be forgiven of our sins as we repent and exercise faith in Jesus Christ. But as wonderful as the gifts of resurrection and repentance are, the Atonement is much more. Through the Atonement we can receive strength to meet the most difficult trials of life.”

Elder Larry W. Gibbons, “A Time for Faith Not Fear,” Ensign, Jul 2013, 36. 

Heavenly Help is There

 “Heavenly help may not be obvious. We may not immediately see or know that some other burdens that would have come our way have been lifted, diverted from our door.

“The Lord assures: “Behold, verily, verily, I say unto you that mine eyes are upon you. I am in your midst and ye cannot see me” (D&C 38:7).

“Of course, we may need to be supremely patient with others and ourselves; it often takes time for everything to work out. Even if at times our faith seems no bigger that a mustard seed, as we move forward Providence will move with us. If we seek heaven’s help, we will receive it—perhaps even in unexpected ways.

“We can find the wherewithal to be thankful for what we have, rather than mourn what we have lost.”

Elder David S. Baxter, “Leaving Adversity Behind,” Ensign, Dec 2012, 26. 

Strength for Our Burdens

 “Fortunately, the hopeful and certain truth is that no matter what, we can find strength and encouragement. Our burdens can become lighter, even if they do not suddenly go away. We can emerge on the other side of the darkest abyss, stronger and more resolute, better men and better women.

“Having been proven in the crucible of affliction, we will have cultivated a character that is able to face and withstand future life shocks. As a result, we can use our experiences to life and empathize with others. Our own example of personal perseverance can give hope to others and inspire our families. We become more fit for the future.

“While adversity may be slow to leave us, we can choose to leave it any time. The Lord’s promise to us is as it was to Alma and his people in the midst of horrendous persecution.

“”Lift up your heads and be of good comfort, for I know of the covenant which ye have made unto me; and I will covenant with my people and deliver them out of bondage.

“”And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs” (Mosiah 24:13-14).

“Furthermore, the Lord has confirmed, “I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you” (John 14:18).”

Elder David S. Baxter, “Leaving Adversity Behind,” Ensign, Dec 2012, 25-26. 

Conquer Fear and Despair

“One of today’s great challenges is learning to conquer fear and despair in order to overcome trials and temptations. It takes only a few moments for us to open a newspaper, scroll the web, or hear a news broadcast on radio or television to be confronted with distressing accounts of crime and natural calamities that happen every day.

“Understanding the promises in scripture concerning how the Lord will conquer evil and how truth will conquer error can help us face the future with hope and optimism. In today’s world we see war, natural calamities, and economic crises. At times these events are not just things we observe from a distance but are things that affect us personally.

“There is no need for us to mourn lost worldly possessions or to fixate on the temporal, for those things can rob us of the joy of the simple, sublime things of life.”

Elder Jose A. Teixeira, “Facing the Future With Hope,” Ensign, July 2012, 16-17. 

Women, Why Weepest Thou?

In October 1996 President James E. Faust gave a talk entitled, “Woman, why weepest thou?” In his talk President Faust states, “Many of us have heartrending challenges, those who suffer, those who feel alone, those who mourn and have heartaches, those with physical , mental, emotional pain, those crippled or who have become crippled, those who have the privileged responsibilities of helping others who have mental and physical disabilities, and those who may have serious transgressions. The Savior discovered the sorrowing Mary Magdalene, who ‘stood without at the sepulcher weeping’. As she turned around she saw Jesus standing and knew not that it was Jesus. Jesus saith unto her, ‘Woman, why weepest thou?’ The Savior was speaking not just to the sorrowing Mary, he was also speaking to us, for the tears or sorrow, pain, or remorse are the common lot of mankind.”

President Faust went on to say “to remain true and faithful through this mortal vale of tears, we must love God with all our heart, might, mind and strength, and love our neighbors as ourselves. We must also stand together; we must gather strength from each other. We must also ‘succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down and strengthen the feeble knees’.

“As we go through travail and difficulty, we may feel sorry for ourselves and despair, but with the love of God and Saints, unitedly bearing each other’s burdens, we can be happy and overcome evil.”

My Sister's Hands

My sister’s hands are fair and white. My sister’s hands are dark.

My sister’s hands are touched with age, or by the years unmarked

And often when I pray for strength to live as He commands,

The Father sends me sustenance in my sister’s hands.

My sister’s hands are lines and worn with burdens of their own,

And yet I know that should I mourn, I need not weep alone.

And often as I seek His grace to lighten life’s demands,

The Father sends me solace borne in my sister’s hands.

My sister’s hands, compassion’s tools that teach my own their art

Witnesses of charity within the human heart,

Bearers of the Savior’s love and mercy unto man,

I have felt the Master’s touch, in my sister’s hands.

-Sally DeFord

Trials

President Thomas S. Monson reminds us that “life was never intended to consist of a glut of luxury, be an easy course, or filled only with success. There are those games which we lose, those races in which we finish last, and those promotions which never come. Such experiences provide an opportunity for us to show our determination and to rise above disappointment.”

Thomas S. Monson, “Go For It!” Ensign, May  1989, 44. 

Healing From Him Who Loves Us Best

"Healing blessings come in many ways, each suited to our individual needs, as known to Him who loves us best. Sometimes a 'healing' cures our illness or lifts our burden. But sometimes we are 'healed' by being given strength or understanding or patience to bear the burdens placed upon us."

Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, "He Heals the Heavy Laden," Ensign, November 2006, 7-8