Hooks of Mortality: Offense and Self Pity

 

Our Heavenly Guidance System

By Elder Sergio R. Vargas

Brothers and sisters, the hooks of mortality are real. They are often enticing, but they seek only one target: to pull us out of the course of living waters that lead to the Father and eternal life. I know how real the hooks of mortality can be. One Sunday, as a new convert, I was teaching a priesthood class when an unsettling conversation arose. I struggled to finish my lesson. I took offense and felt that I was the victim. Without saying a word, I headed for the exit with the idea that I would not return to church for a while. At that very moment, a concerned priesthood holder stood in front of me. He lovingly invited me to focus on Christ and not on the situation we had experienced in class. As I looked back on the experience with him, he shared with me that he heard a voice tell him, “Go after him; he is important to me.” My dear friends, we are all important to Him. President Nelson taught that “because of our covenant with God, He will never tire in His efforts to help us, and we will never exhaust His merciful patience with us.” Our divine nature and covenant relationship with God entitle us to receive divine help....

I invite all of us today to center our lives on Jesus Christ and His teachings. Doing so will help us avoid biting the hooks of temptation, offense, and self-pity.

No One Can MAKE Us Offended or Angry - we choose to

 Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said: “Endowed with agency, you and I are agents, and we primarily are to act and not just be acted upon. To believe that someone or something can make us feel offended, angry, hurt, or bitter diminishes our moral agency and transforms us into objects to be acted upon. As agents, however, you and I have the power to act and to choose how we will respond to an offensive or hurtful situation.”

David A. Bednar, “And Nothing Shall Offend Them,” 90.

And Nothing Shall Offend Them

October 2006 general conference

Refuse to Take Offense

 After a rude comment or action, we might feel the need to quickly react, perhaps angrily, or hold in our emotions until we break. How can we step back and remember the Savior?

One idea is to become our own detectives. We can try to understand emotions behind offense. Is there miscommunication? Are we thinking with built-up emotion or a clear head? What are we responding to?...

Though becoming our own detectives may take practice, better understanding the situation and our own emotions can possibly help us to remember the Savior, instead of feeling negative emotions that might draw us further away.

After trying this tactic, sometimes what was said or done is still hurtful. If so, Elder Bednar says: “Our first obligation is to refuse to take offense and then communicate privately, honestly, and directly with that individual. Such an approach invites inspiration from the Holy Ghost and permits misperceptions to be clarified and true intent to be understood.”

“The Time to Stop Being Offended Is Now”

By Alyssa Bradford

Church Magazines

Triumph Over Offense

 Elder Bednar teaches that “through the strengthening power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, you and I can be blessed to avoid and triumph over offense.”

David A. Bednar, “And Nothing Shall Offend Them,” 90.

And Nothing Shall Offend Them

October 2006 general conference

Don't Insist or Demand that Others Recognize Our Correctness

 

The Coin in the Fish’s Mouth

By Elder S. Mark Palmer

Of the Seventy

4. Although as disciples of Christ we may know we are right, there are times when insisting or demanding that others recognize our correctness would simply cause unneeded offense. And even worse, it could become a stumbling block in someone else’s spiritual progression.

A wonderful example of this meekness and unwillingness to become a stumbling block is found in this experience of President James E. Faust (1920–2007), a former counselor in the First Presidency. “His son, Marcus, talked … about going with him to the Washington, D.C., temple to participate in a temple [endowment] session. When President Faust presented his recommend for admission—a special one used by general authorities—the temple worker didn’t recognize him or the recommend and denied him access. ‘Rather than embarrassing the man by telling him who he was, Dad politely excused himself and we all left.’”...

Like Peter, we will learn from the example of our Master, who was patient with faults and meek despite having all power.

Giving Each Other the Benefit of the Doubt

Giving Each Other the Benefit of the Doubt

“Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don’t judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting someone’s differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn’t handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another’s weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other.”

Elder Marvin J. Ashton (1915–94) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, “The Tongue Can Be a Sharp Sword,”Ensign, May 1992, 19.

Choose Not to be Offended

"You and I cannot control the intentions of behavior of other people. However, we do determine how we will act. Please remember that you and I are agents endowed with moral agency, and we can choose to to be offended."

David A. Bednar, "And Nothing Shall Offend Them," Ensign, Nov. 2006, 91.