Perfectionism

 "The Perfect Problem"

By Brooklyn Hughes Roemer (BA ’22) in the Spring 2025 Issue, BYU Magazine

Jenet Jacob Erickson (BS ’97, MA ’00), a religion professor and family life researcher, says parents can watch how their children respond to failure. “Are they really dysregulated by what they perceive as failure?” Nobody likes failing, but especially strong reactions—be they tantrums, panic attacks, or depressive episodes—can signal that perfectionism is at play....

“Kids are really perceptive,” Erickson says, and they can inherit unhealthy perfectionistic mindsets from their parents: “When parents have high expectations for their children, frequently express criticism or disappointment, and then withdraw love by either not being as happy, not being as loving, not being as connected, then children are more likely to develop toxic perfectionism.”