Waiting Upon the Lord

 

Christ Heals That Which Is Broken

By Amy A. Wright

Second Counselor in the Primary General Presidency

Extending forgiveness can take tremendous courage and humility. It can also take time. It requires us to put our faith and trust in the Lord as we assume accountability for the condition of our hearts...

Oftentimes we can find ourselves, like the lame beggar at the gate of the temple, patiently—or sometimes impatiently—“wait[ing] upon the Lord.”¹⁰ Waiting to be healed physically or emotionally. Waiting for answers that penetrate the deepest part of our hearts. Waiting for a miracle.

Waiting upon the Lord can be a sacred place—a place of polishing and refining where we can come to know the Savior in a deeply personal way. Waiting upon the Lord may also be a place where we find ourselves asking, “O God, where art thou?”¹¹—a place where spiritual perseverance requires us to exercise faith in Christ by intentionally choosing Him again and again and again. I know this place, and I understand this type of waiting.

I spent countless hours at a cancer treatment facility, united in my suffering with many who were yearning to be healed. Some lived; others did not. I learned in a profound way that deliverance from our trials is different for each of us, and therefore our focus should be less about the way in which we are delivered and more about the Deliverer Himself. Our emphasis should always be on Jesus Christ!...

My dear friends, we all have something in our lives that is broken that needs to be mended, fixed, or healed. As we turn to the Savior, as we align our hearts and minds with Him, as we repent, He comes to us “with healing in his wings,”¹² puts His arms lovingly around us, and says, “It’s OK. You are only 5—or 16, 23, 48, 64, 91. We can fix this together!”

Cosmic Vending Machine

 

Our Relationship with God

By Elder D. Todd Christofferson

Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

Some misunderstand the promises of God to mean that obedience to Him yields specific outcomes on a fixed schedule. They might think, “If I diligently serve a full-time mission, God will bless me with a happy marriage and children” or “If I refrain from doing schoolwork on the Sabbath, God will bless me with good grades” or “If I pay tithing, God will bless me with that job I’ve been wanting.” If life doesn’t fall out precisely this way or according to an expected timetable, they may feel betrayed by God. But things are not so mechanical in the divine economy. We ought not to think of God’s plan as a cosmic vending machine where we (1) select a desired blessing, (2) insert the required sum of good works, and (3) the order is promptly delivered.

Weakness is Different Than Rebellion

 

Your Divine Nature and Eternal Destiny

By Elder Dale G. Renlund

Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

Even after sincere repentance, however, we may stumble. Stumbling does not mean that the repentance was inadequate but may simply reflect human weakness. How comforting to know that “the Lord sees weaknesses differently than He [sees] rebellion.” We should not doubt the Savior’s ability to help us with our weaknesses, because “when the Lord speaks of weaknesses, it is always with mercy.”

You Will Have to Do Something

 

Do What Mattereth Most

By Rebecca L. Craven

Second Counselor in the Young Women General Presidency

I had a sweet experience with a darling young woman who asked a very sincere question: “Sister Craven, how do you know that anything about the Church is true? Because I feel nothing.”

Before jumping to an answer, I first asked her some questions. “Tell me about your personal scripture study.”

She replied, “I don’t read the scriptures.”

I asked, “What about with your family? Do you study Come, Follow Me together?”

She said, “No.”

I asked about her prayers: “What do you feel when you pray?”

Her answer: “I don’t pray.”

My response to her was simple: “If you want to know anything, you will have to do something.”

Isn’t that true with anything we want to learn or know? I invited my new friend to start doing the gospel of Jesus Christ: praying, studying, serving others, and trusting in the Lord. Conversion won’t come while doing nothing. It comes through the power of the Holy Ghost as we intentionally make an effort to know by asking, seeking, and knocking. It comes by doing.³

When We Think We Know Better

 

“Then Will I Make Weak Things Become Strong”

By Elder Kevin S. Hamilton

Of the Seventy

Pride exists when we think we know better—when what we think or feel takes priority over what God thinks or feels.

Turn to the Savior Right Away

Is the Plan Working?

By Elder Adrián Ochoa

Of the Seventy

I am in awe of Peter’s faith. At Jesus’s simple invitation to “come,” he left his storm-tossed ship. He seemed to know that if Jesus Christ invited him to do something, he could do it.⁴ Peter trusted the Savior more than he trusted his boat. And that faith gave him power to act with courage during a stressful, frightening situation....

As he walked toward the Savior, Peter was frightened by the wind and began to sink. But when Peter realized what was happening, he did not try to tread water on his own or swim back to the ship. Rather than let go of his faith in Christ, he held on more tightly, crying, “Lord, save me.”

“And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him.”⁶

All of us face boisterous winds that can shake our faith and cause us to sink. When this happens, please remember that Heavenly Father’s plan of happiness has another name—the plan of redemption. The plan was not for us to glide easily through life, never stumbling, never sinking, with a smile always on our face. Heavenly Father knew that we would need to be redeemed. This is why He prepared the plan of redemption.⁷ This is why He sent a Redeemer. When we struggle—for any reason—that does not mean the plan isn’t working. That is when we need the plan the most!

In those moments, follow the example of Peter. Turn to the Savior right away.

 THE Y REPORT

The Gift of Feedback

Spring 2023 Issue

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We naturally get defensive when someone criticizes us. Getting a D on a paper or having a family member knock the way you load the dishwasher stings. But giving and receiving feedback is crucial to our growth—at work, at school, and in our relationships.

While there are best practices for communicating criticism constructively, BYU business adjunct professor Elizabeth A. Dixon (BA ’92, MPA ’96) asserts that “[all] feedback is a gift—no matter how badly it’s wrapped.” Here are Dixon’s top tips on letting feedback help, not hurt.

Photo by Bradley Slade

What do you do when you get feedback that hurts?

A: Start by taking a breath. The amygdala—the emotional part of your brain—fires immediately when someone offers a difficult critique. Your amygdala doesn’t differentiate between an attack on your life and feedback. If you avoid immediately reacting, you can start processing.

Then zone in on the “what,” not the “who.” Focusing on who gave us the feedback can make us feel emotional and miss the chance to grow. Dig in and find the gift, even if it stings. (But please note that abuse is never feedback.)

How can you create a good environment for giving feedback?

A: First seek a relationship. Get to know your family, roommates, coworkers, and employees as children of God. Know that they have hopes and dreams and fears and doubts.

In day-to-day conversations, focus on what they are doing well. Praise, praise, praise. They’ll want to continue doing those things well. And when you do have a correction, you’ve created a relationship where you never have to sugarcoat anything. They know you care about them and believe that they’re capable. Give 90 percent praise and 10 percent constructive criticism.

What’s the best way to give feedback?

A: Offer it with love. Give the person the benefit of the doubt and remember that your picture of the situation is incomplete. Acknowledge their pressures and constraints. Talk in private.

Some people advocate for the “feedback sandwich”—two compliments with feedback in the middle. But the feedback sandwich usually has so much bread on the outside that the meat of the feedback is hidden, and the receiver does not even hear it. So you do need to be direct.

But if you’re just getting something off your chest, that’s not feedback—that’s anger and venting, and the Spirit leaves you. If you’re angry, write your thoughts down and throw the paper away. Feedback should always be given with the other person’s needs in mind. 

Kevin J. Worthen Story

 

A Prophetic Promise Fulfilled

By Kevin J Worthen (BA ’79, JD ’82) in the Spring 2023 Issue

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In times of trial, we can rely on prophetic guidance.

Photo by A.J. Rich/Rich Vintage Photography

Some time ago I had one of those days when nothing seemed to be going right. The issues I was facing as BYU president seemed to have no solutions. No one seemed happy with what was happening, and I was completely unsure why I was in the position that I am in. Fortunately, those kinds of days are rare. But this was one of them. I just wanted to go home and be left alone.

However, several weeks earlier, Peggy and I had made an appointment to attend a temple session that evening. I recall hearing in my head President Russell M. Nelson’s recent urging for us to not only “make an appointment . . . to be in [the Lord’s] holy house” but also to “keep that appointment with exactness and joy.” And I remembered his promise “that the Lord will bring the miracles He knows you need.”¹

So I went to the temple, trying to be joyful and pleading to know what to do and to feel what I needed to feel.

I felt calmer during the endowment session, but I was still somewhat unsettled when the session ended. As Peggy and I spent some time in the celestial room, a young couple came over and introduced themselves as BYU students. They wanted to thank us for all that we did to make BYU a great place. They were full of joy and gratitude; it was clear that BYU had impacted them in a powerful way. This was its own tender mercy—maybe a miracle—to me.

Later, after changing into my street clothes and heading to the lobby to leave, I thought I should add someone’s name to the prayer roll—a practice I usually follow.

At first I thought: “No name comes to mind. Maybe I should just skip it this time.” But then I thought, “Surely someone can use a temple blessing.”

So I went to the area for adding names to the prayer roll. I wrote a name on a slip of paper and put it into the box. I then glanced down at a list of names that had been added by different people on a notepad. I usually pay no attention to that list, but, for some reason, this time I scanned it. Partway down I saw my name: “Kevin Worthen.” I was almost overcome. Someone, maybe one of the students in the celestial room, had added my name to the prayer roll that day. I felt a feeling of complete peace and a deep reassurance that everything would work out. And it did.

Some might think it was just a coincidence that someone wrote my name on the prayer roll list that day, that weeks earlier I had made an appointment to attend the temple on that day, and that on that day I happened to glance at the list. But for me it was a miracle—one God knew that I needed and that, consistent with President Nelson’s promise, God provided.

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BYU president Kevin J Worthen gave the campus devotional from which this essay is excerpted and adapted, titled “The Power of Prophetic Promises,” on Jan. 10, 2023. The full text, audio, and video of the address are available at speeches.byu.edu.

Kevin J Worthen is the president of Brigham Young University.

NOTES

1. Russell M. Nelson, “Becoming Exemplary Latter-day Saints,” Ensign, November 2018.

To You Who Are Surviving

 

He Is Risen with Healing in His Wings:

We Can Be More Than Conquerors

By Elder Patrick Kearon

Of the Presidency of the Seventy

April 2022 General Conference

Imagine the Lord speaking these words to you—to you who are surviving—because they are for you:

Fear not.⁵

I know your sorrows, and I have come to deliver you.⁶

I will not leave you.⁷

My name is upon you, and my angels have charge over you.⁸

I will do wonders among you.⁹

Walk with me; learn of me; I will give you rest.¹⁰

I am in your midst.¹¹

You are mine.¹²...

You are a survivor, you can heal, and you can trust that with the power and grace of Jesus Christ, you will overcome and conquer.

 

Healing from Relationship Trauma

By Family Services Staff

2. Turn to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ for Healing

Through Heavenly Father’s plan, Jesus Christ has the power to heal all wounds, no matter how deep. The process of healing is difficult and may take time. In our hurt, we may even become angry with Heavenly Father. While we may not feel like turning to Him, He has sent His Son, Jesus Christ, the Master Healer. Through the Savior’s Atonement, we can be healed over time.

Sometimes we may believe we need immediate relief, but healing is a process. Elaine S. Marshall, PhD, shared: “Healing hurts. … Healing really begins only when we face the hurt in its full force and then grow through it with all the strength of our soul. For every reward of learning and growing, some degree of pain is always the price.”³

When we heal through Jesus Christ, we grow, build healthy relationships, and seek support from others, including professional help.

As we seek to heal, we need our Father in Heaven. Elder Richard G. Scott (1928–2015) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught, “The most direct and often the most powerful way [to access the Savior’s help] is through humble, trusting prayers to your Father in Heaven, which are answered through the Holy Ghost to your spirit.”⁴

In praying, we can honestly and humbly express all our hurt and the impact it has had on our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. As you pray, watch for the comforting and enlightening power Heavenly Father sends through the Holy Ghost. The hurt may not go away, but you can feel comforted and strengthened....

Build within a Circle of Trust

We can learn to heal by building trust in our relationships generally. As we find those who can hold our vulnerability and be soft with our feelings, we can learn to build healthy relationships little by little. When we feel like someone is harming us, we can set appropriate boundaries, including keeping them at a distance if necessary and, when safe to do so, telling them that their behavior is not appropriate and hurts us.

As we seek to build healthy relationships step by step, we can use the concept of a boundaries target to help us recognize and set appropriate boundaries. In the outer levels of the target, we can place the people we hold at an emotional, and perhaps physical, distance. These might include strangers or those who have caused us harm. As we move toward the center of the circle, we may trust others with some non-vulnerable information, such as basic facts. In the innermost circles, we may choose to share more information and increase vulnerability.

As we seek to build trust, we can be intentional about how we feel someone fits into our target of vulnerability at a given time and how much to share with them. If someone harms us, we can move him or her away. As we learn to trust a person, we can move him or her closer. Making conscious efforts to allow more people into our circle of trust over time can help us grow and heal.

You can also find additional information in these resources:

• Counseling Resources, ChurchofJesusChrist.org.

• Life Help topics, ChurchofJesusChrist.org.

• David A. Bednar, “Bear Up Their Burdens with Ease,” Liahona, May 2014, 87–90.

• Richard G. Scott, “Healing the Tragic Scars of Abuse,” Ensign, May 1992, 31–33.

• James E. Faust, “The Healing Power of Forgiveness,” Liahona, May 2007, 67–69.

• Carole M. Stephens, “The Master Healer,” Liahona, Nov. 2016, 9–12.

• “Can I Build Safe, Healthy Relationships?,” ChurchofJesusChrist.org.

• Justin K. McPheters and Rebecca M. Taylor, “Is Therapy Right for Me?” (digital-only article), Ensign, Feb. 2020, ChurchofJesusChrist.org.

• Nanon Talley, “Recognizing Emotional Abuse” (digital-only article), Liahona, Oct. 2020, ChurchofJesusChrist.org.

• Nanon Talley, “A Bridge to Hope and Healing,” Liahona, Apr. 2017, 22–27.