Don’t Let Your Marriage Go Cold

By M. Sue Bergin (BA ’78) in the Spring 2020 Issue BYU Magazine

Duncan calls rituals—“things you do with regularity that have specialness and are meaningful”—one of the most potent practices for keeping a marriage vibrant. But he says couples should change things up so they don’t get bored with a dinner and a movie every week....

Couples who choose not to continue a sexual relationship are not unusual, says Duncan. About 20 percent of couples at any age have a nonsexual marriage. However, Duncan cautions, “if you don’t make the effort to be intimate, the relationship wears down. Without the bonding hormone oxytocin that’s exchanged in hugging, kissing, or intercourse, the relationship can get dull and lifeless. If you’re not intentional, your marriage will suffer from the lack of infusion intimacy offers.”