Don't be the "natural" parent

Ten Ideas for Mastering Strong Emotions at Home

By David Schramm, PhD

Assistant Professor of Human Development and Family Studies, Utah State University

1. Beware the natural parent.

Our bodies were designed to experience all kinds of emotions, including anger, confusion, frustration, and exasperation. A “natural” parent gives in to these impulses and lashes out. This natural parent—much like the natural man—is an enemy to his or her children and spouse, “unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural [impulses] and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love” (Mosiah 3:19).

In short, when we replace our unbridled, natural emotions with compassion and Christlike love, we become more like the Savior and thus better equipped to help our children manage their own emotions...

Feelings must be validated before behavior can be improved....

7. See things from your child’s perspective.

When we honestly try to see things from our children’s perspective, we will be reminded that we were children once—we made messes and were disrespectful. We can remind ourselves that all humans, including children, do things for reasons that make sense to them. And when we slip and say or do things we regret, we can be quick to apologize to others, including to our spouse and children.