- JANUARY 2012
- WHAT HAPPILY MARRIED COUPLES DO
What HappilyMarried Couples Do
By Douglas Brinley
Having spent my career helping couples strengthen their marriages, I have learned that couples who are experiencing marital troubles often face a twofold problem: they have lost the Spirit of the Lord in their relationship because of contention, and they are not doing the kinds of activities that would bring them closer to each other....
You both must feel comfortable exchanging your thoughts and feelings without fear of criticism, feeling inferior, or being smothered....
A good therapist [spouse] listens attentively; provides new perspectives on situations; compliments on progress; is patient, kind, and nonjudgmental; and helps us think things through in ways that allow a better solution. ...
When you have a disagreement, realize that both of you have the responsibility to resolve it. Sometimes seeing a situation from the other person’s point of view is difficult. However, with humility and kindness, you can work together to solve problems in a manner that accommodates both of your needs....
New perspectives come with time away from the mundane. ...Above all, recognize that a babysitter is cheaper than a divorce....
Seeking feedback from your spouse about how you are doing and how you could improve might be just what you need to be a better spouse and parent. ...
Anger is a great destroyer of marriages and families....
The key is to seek to support each other through good times as well as those difficult moments.
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